MY EYES ARE CLOSED.

with my eyes closed.
i take a step back.
and i say.
goodbye.

working at a hospital with old people just numbs ur emotions.
i can still remember the last time i went to an old folk's home @ St Andrew's home for the aged.
after speaking to exactly 1 old lady, i couldnt take the pain.
i just walked out of the home and cried like a baby.
i think that was one of my saddest days in my life.
i couldnt take seeing old ppl suffer..especially when they hold on to a hope.
a hope that one day their family members would come take them home.
but in reality, that's just a lie the home volunteers tell them so that they can live each day at a time with a tiny weeny bit of hope, with some weird morbid sense of dignity.
now before i meet any patient,
i just shut my heart up and numb it.
making sure i dont give into my emotions when i see them.
so my judgements and decisions made are not done out of my weakness.
but done because of my assessments and considerations.
sometimes they look so sad that i just close my eyes and walk away.

i still remmeber how u looked.
but i know that u're with Jesus now.
a short time we met.
and i'm sorry i couldnt help u in any other way.
i pray u're at a better place.
paved with golden streets.
and voices of angels.
praved with golden streets.
and voices of angels.